Wednesday, September 5, 2007

Meatless

"I'm so hungry."

Aliyah laughs. I guess she thinks I'm trying to be funny. I repeat myself, this time a little whinier.

"I'm sooooo hungry."

Aliyah stops laughing. She looks confused.

"You're hungry? Are you serious?"

"Yeah. I feel like one of those African kids with parasitic tapeworms swimming around their empty, bloated bellies."

"You just ate a four-egg omelet."

"Yeah, but it didn't even have meat in it."

I'm hungry all the time now. All the time. It doesn't matter how many mango milk shakes I down at breakfast, how many eggs I put in my omelet, how many bags of muesli I munch at work, or even the amount of fried cheese and greasy vegetables I eat for dinner. That stuff just isn't filling. Especially if you're used to eating four bacon cheeseburgers a week.

4 comments:

S Goldsmith said...

meathead.

you need more adderall in your diet.

Jared said...

I think eggs should count as meat.

Why are you doing this again?

S Goldsmith said...

i agree with jared. eggs should count as meat, as should cheese and all other dairy products.

Barry.Petchesky said...

Also vegetables, because after all, aren't they some other vegetable's offspring? Would you like it if a giant kohlrabi ate your children?